John and Julie Gottman scientifically studied more than 3,000 couples over four decades. The result is the most precise and best-evidenced couples therapy method worldwide — the foundation of our work with you.
Gottman calls stable couples “Masters” and unstable ones “Disasters” — not as a judgement but as a description of measurable behaviour. The decisive difference is not the intensity of the conflicts but the quality of the connection in between. The good news: everything the Masters do can be learned.
Gottman's Sound Relationship House is the structural model behind our work. It describes seven levels of a stable relationship — from trust and friendship to how conflict is handled together. We work on the whole relationship: strengths are built up, weaknesses addressed deliberately.
Through decades of video analysis of couples talking, Gottman identified specific patterns of communication that predict with remarkable precision whether a relationship stays stable or fails. Fifteen minutes of conversation is enough. Knowing those patterns — and changing them — is the heart of our therapeutic work.
In stable relationships, positive interactions outweigh negative ones by five to one. During conflict, three to one is enough. That changes how we think about “good” and “bad” phases: a single argument does less damage than a chronically negative atmosphere.
A good two thirds of all conflicts between partners are perpetual: they come from fundamental differences in personality, needs and ideas about life, and they never disappear entirely — in any couple. Only about a third can be settled for good. What separates Masters from Disasters is therefore not whether they get rid of their issues but how they handle them: with humour, acceptance and dialogue instead of hardening and contempt.
Gottman identified four patterns of communication that reliably predict the end of a relationship. Recognising them makes them changeable — each Horseman has an antidote that can be learned.
An attack on your partner's character instead of a specific behaviour. “You always…” instead of “What I would like is…”
The strongest predictor of separation. Sarcasm, eye-rolling, condescension — the message being: “I am better than you.”
Seeing yourself as the victim, counter-attacking instead of listening. It prevents real connection and escalates conflict instead of resolving it.
Complete emotional withdrawal. Your partner shuts down and stops responding. Often self-protection — but it lands as indifference.
Fifteen minutes on the phone in which you get to know us and we understand your situation. No obligation, no cost — and an honest assessment of whether we are the right people for you.